Families come in all shapes and sizes and so do their problems. Maybe it’s a problem with a teen, maybe it’s a problem with a spouse, maybe it’s a problem with in-laws, and maybe if you’re really unlucky it’s all of the above!
Not to make light of anyones suffering but these things happen. We are complex individuals and when we develop into family units those complexities are put on full display.
When I was younger I used to play the piano (very briefly and very badly), and I remember that when you played you could step on a certain pedal that would drag out the tones of the keys you were playing. Just a simple pedal press could turn a crisp tune into a muddled cacophony that assaulted your ears.
I think of this when I think of how family dysfunction runs into each other. We all have our unique tones but when boundaries are abused, and emotions run high those pedals get pressed and we’re all begging for peace and quiet.
The reasons abound for why this may be the case: childhood traumas, addictions, family secrets, abandonment, judgement and disapproval of spouses. No matter the cause, a solution is needed. Solution in these terms come in the form of boundaries, expectations, communication, and connection.
This is no small task and not everyone is up for it. Many people may look at their families and say “It’s not worth it. It will always be this way. I just need to accept it.” I hope this isn’t you.
If you feel like there are things in your family that you wish were different, and you are ready to believe that they can change, then I hope you’ll reach out and we can figure out what that looks like together.